As I’m coming up on my 5-month mark at my new job, I was thinking about how happy I am here at CCP. I’ve been waking up at 7:30 for weeks, braving the frigid Icelandic mornings, because I have been so excited to get into work.
My happiness caused me to reflect upon the utter boredom and frustration I felt at my previous job my last six months or so there. But then I started remembering further back and wondering, when was the last time I felt like this? Developing something I felt passionate about, something that people saw value in without me having to spend months convincing them, something I didn’t have to beg to get resources to work on. In a place where people are overwhelmingly positive and non-hostile, with just enough aggression to make sure we can have lively discussions.
I know CCP has its problems and I’ve come in at, in many ways, a good time. I know there are people unhappy where I am happy. I know there are people who can work in the same type of environment I was unhappy in and love work every day. Different strokes for different folks.
What I’m saying is, I spent a long time working, thinking I was happy, but it was because I forgot what happy was. Or maybe I wasn’t thinking I was happy, maybe I just forgot to consider it entirely. I forgot what a healthy work environment was, because I came so invested with the people, and stuff I had made, I lost perspective. (Perhaps this was why I became so unhappy when I switched teams- I lost my already strained sense of ownership and commitment).
No rant or advice or recommendations or even new or good ideas. Just wanted to share.